Curse This Sexist World!
by Cold War Takeover
Summary: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. Alfred F. Jones is female. AU One-sided EnglandXfem!America, fem!AmericaXPrussia, human names used
1. Chapter 1

**Title: Curse This Sexist World!**

**Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. **_**Alfred F. Jones**__**is female**_**.**

**Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother (who knew of her existence, even if she didn't share the feeling), her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?**

**A/N: *sigh* I made the story sound so good. LOL**

**Want to know what's weird? I want to be a U.S. pilot. Yep. Not only that, but I want to do the dangerous stuff. Like, bombing countries and shooting down other planes and stuff. _ America has a way of making you find the hero and adventure in you…XD**

**So, some explaining here. Avery = America = around 21-ish? That's all that I have figured out (except Mattie, but we all know he's going to be the same age anyway.) Alfred F. Jones is Avery Freedom Jones (wow, never expected that one, now did you?) and Mattie's middle name is C. = Clarity. (*giggles*)**

**So, without further ado (which makes me think of Much Ado About Nothing and the character, Hero XD), R&R and enjoy!**

**[-]**

**Chapter 1: The Pros and Cons of Faking/Being a Guy**

**[-]**

I angrily ran my fingers through the wig that hid my long hair. Why the hell did Physics have to be so confusing?

I set my pencil down, paused my iPod, and began spinning in my chair, just waiting for the reaction (and distraction) I would surely receive—

"You git! You're going to fall and I do _not _want to have to clean up the spilt bloo—GET OFF!" Arthur was interrupted in his rant by Francis sneak-attacking him and sliding his hands into the back pockets of Arthur's skinny jeans.

Yep, you heard me right. Arty wears skinny jeans.

Now, don't get me wrong, they look sexy—_damn straight—_on the Brit. But he's a guy. Does that not scream "hahaha _faaaaag_" in your head?

Let me explain why I, Avery Fuck-Yeah (okay, my middle name is actually Freedom, but who cares?) Jones, a pure-bred female, was currently rooming with two guys in college.

GakuHeta International Men's University does not accept those of the female race, last time I checked. (Around two years ago, if you want to know.) Yet they proudly declared on their website and every advertisement they have, that if you passed Science and Math classes with flying colors, you had a 97% chance of being accepted into the best of the best when it comes to U.S. Military-run flight schools. 3% if you passed spectacularly and were a terrorist.

(Which I'm not.)

The downfall? I had a very low chance of getting accepted into that flight school if I went to any other college.

And so, for the past two years, I have been Alfred Freedom (I wish it was Fuck-Yeah, I really do) Jones, Arthur Kirkland and Francis Bonnefoy's (male) roommate.

Now, since I am such an awesome actor(ress), I have been able to fool those two (and the educational system, for that matter) into thinking I was the guy who could hold my liquor better than the Beilshmidt boys, could eat fifty-three burgers in one sitting and still have room to wash it down with a Big Gulp from 7-11, fail Physics but pass Trig, and spend Saturday nights playing video games all night long with Kiku Honda.

This would be all nice and dandy, had it not been that I had quite a rack to hide. And that Francis always tried to grope me whenever possible. And that Arthur was head over heels for me.

Which I never actually noticed at first. I wouldn't have if Francis hadn't commented (daily) on the UST fumes that Arthur oozed.

I simply laughed, but watching Artur now, it's kind of…_obvious_. (Although I'm sure he doesn't even realize it.)

So far, I have spent the entire two years I've been here without getting a single invitation on a date (like I thought would happen—I never once thought that a guy would hit on me if they thought I was a fellow male—of course, this excludes Iggy, but he's too dense when it comes to love to ever realize it.)

But my ego can't take that much more.

I feel extremely tempted to show up in one of the co-ed college cafeterias (for visiting families and friends from nearby neighborhoods and such) with my hair down, wearing heels and a dress, just to land a date.

_IF ONLY PHYSICS WASN'T SO HARD AND TIME CONSUMING!_

"Aw, but _mon cheri_, how could you ever say such a thing? You know that I am the perfect outlet for all of that yucky UST~ My bed is always open, _bon_ Arthur~" Francis said, his hands sliding down the front of Arthur's pants.

See? Francis was always commenting on how Arty and I had unresolved sexual tension.

I snorted, rolled my eyes, and closed my text book. "Yo, you two have fun in here. I'm gonna walk around campus, 'kay?" I zipped up my bomber jacket (which I already had on. I rarely went without it, since it helped hide what the corset didn't) and was shocked to find that my cell phone (which I had hidden in my pocket since Arthur always commented on my compulsion to use) was flooded with texts.

Arthur ground his teeth and pried Francis off of him. "One, it's 'going to,' not 'gonna,' two, I'll go with you (anything to get away from this bloody frog), and three, hand me the phone."

I pouted and held it away from him. "Why? I'm only going to read these texts, maybe answer a few—"

He rolled his eyes and snatched it out of my hands. "Fine. Then you wouldn't mind at all me looking through your inbox and reading your messages aloud to you."

Francis snickered while I just glared. "Don't you dare—"

" 'From: Gilbert Beilschmidt. How about this Friday we drink some real beer and see who survives afterwards'" he snorted and deleted that message, completely ignoring my whimper of protest. " 'From: Tori Jones. Darling, why are you so dead set on me not visiting? Is it because it's time of month again haha-' Oh, bloody hell, your mother can be cruel, Alfred," Arthur deduced, handing me back the phone after emptying my inbox.

I glared at him and put the phone back in my pocket, adding "contact phone service to print off all texts sent from midnight last night to now" to my to-do list, and silently thanking God for Arthur being so dense when it came to things that usually pointed his mind in the direction of me being female.

I, however, did not miss the look Francis gave me as all of us stood outside the door, waiting for Arthur to lock up.

I grinned at him. "My mom thinks she's so cool, acting like I'm a girl, y'know?" I said to him.

His eyes only narrowed more, but whatever he thought, he shrugged it off and pulled out his own cell phone.

I pouted as I saw Arthur only glance at his, not at all making any attempt to confiscate it. "So, did you have any idea where to go, Al?"

I shook my head. "I was just gonna walk around…"

He shrugged. "Fine by me. As long as we don't see any drunken teachers like last time…" he mused, the image of Ms. Héderváry materializing in all of our heads.

We all simultaneously shuddered.

Francis began texting God-knows-who, all the while talking aloud. "Al, I suggest you take Gilbert up on that offer. It'd be fun to see that _petit _battle of ego, _non_? Oh, Arthur, I was meaning to ask you why you insist on wearing skinny jeans if you don't want me to spread my _l'amour _to you. It's non fun. Oh, hey, _mon _Mathieu is going to be joining us, you're okay with that, _oui_? Oh, the sky is so _magnefique_ tonight, don't you—"

Arthur glared at Francis. "Why did you invite him without asking us?"

Francis pouted. "Because you both would've said no."

I rolled my eyes. "I have no idea who that is, so why would I care?"

"You gits! Francis, you seem to forget that moments like these are bloody valuable to some people!"

Francis snickered. "You want it to be just us because you know _mon _Alfred and I will talk while you have your fantasies about Alfred, and-"

Francis wailed as a well-thrown punch nailed him in the nose.

Arthur rubbed his knuckles all the while glaring at Francis. I sniggered into my hand, but stopped when I heard a quiet voice ask, "What happened, Francis?"

Francis sniffled and threw his arms around the semi-familiar blonde boy. "Oh, Mathieu, _mon _Arthur just punched me for stating the obvious! So rude, _non_?"

The boy rolled his blue eyes, but patted Francis' back. "_Oui, oui, tres_ rude. No need to throw a temper tantrum, though."

I blinked. Something was so weird, looking at this boy—

Oh shit. It was like looking in a mirror, actually.

He had the same wheat gold hair as me, only his was slightly longer and wavier. And he had a curl rather than a cowlick.

His eyes were the same shade of blue as mine, except his seemed to be a bit closer to purple than to sky-blue. We even had similar glasses.

The only ways I knew he wasn't my reflection was because (1) he wore a red hoodie and blue jeans, (B) he was spouting French, and fourth looked…more girly, despite how much of a paradox that would be. He was a boy, after all, while I was the girl.

He was staring at me, blinking a few times in shock.

Francis looked between us, and finally spoke up. "Oh, I suppose my theory that you two were more similar in appearance was correct."

Arthur grit his teeth. "You wanker, why the bloody fuck did you keep that little theory to yourself, you frog!"

Francis shrugged.

"Woooooahhhhh, we're like, twins! Are you my long-lost twin brother, or are you an alien secretly disguised as me for scientific studies?" I asked excitedly. I hadn't ever met an alien before…

He blinked. "Um, I'm pretty sure I'm human, eh."

"Tch. Are you Canadian?"

"…_Oui_…" he looked at Francis for help.

"_Mon_ Alfred, I would like you to meet Matthew Clarity Williams. That twin theory makes sense, _oui_, because Mattie's parents divorced when he was just _la petit infant_, and he lived with his father, who moved to Canada." He slung his arm around Matthew, and both Arthur and I were shocked to see that he didn't try to cop a feel from the poor boy.

Matthew paused, before opening his mouth. "I was always told that I have an older sister." He saw the look pass over my face, and he knew he was correct. "Of course, you're obviously not a woman. Maybe my mom had a kid after Dad and I left." He shrugged it off.

Oh, I'd have to remember to thank the kid for not blowing my cover.

Francis smiled sweetly at Arthur. "Oh, it's only a Thursday night, _mon amis. _How about you get us some beer, _mon _Arthur?"

As if to get Arthur to comply, Francis slid his hands up Arthur's hips.

Arty ground his teeth and hissed, "Anything to get away from you." He quickly fled, looking for the school bar.

I grinned at Francis. "Now the party-kill-joy is officially gone!" I pumped my fist, then noticed the look that Francis and Matthew shared. "Haha, guys, you're supposed to be celebrating—"

Francis pursed his lips. "So, how does it feel to know that _votre _sister is _mon _roommate, Mathieu?"

Matthew shrugged. "Don't mentally traumatize her, eh."

I forced myself to chuckle, "Haha what do you guys mean? I'm obviously a—"

Francis rolled his eyes. "Do you really expect the master of _l'amour _to not see when a person is female or male, Alfred?"

Matthew smiled timidly at me. "Francis had already told me he suspected you were a girl, and he also told me you looked like me." The Matthew paused. "Did Victorious—" I gaped as he said my mother's real name, "—ever tell you about me?"

I hesitantly shook my head. He chuckled. "Leave it to Dad to spoil it."

Francis frowned. "Now, now, your father is _tres bien_! Don't talk so harshly of him!"

Matthew rolled his eyes but held his hand out to me. "Hello, my name is Matthew Clarity Williams. You must be Avery Freedom Jones."

I grinned at him and shook his hand. "Nice to meet you, bro!"

Francis smirked at me, hands snaking to my hips. "Hm, knowing your real name makes sharing the _l'amour _so much sweeter—"

I elbowed him in the stomach and he doubled over. "Okay, okay," he wheezed, holding ah and of surrender up. I rolled my eyes.

"Hands off, Francis. Now, how'd you figure it out?"

He sniggered. "I would advise against wearing white shirts but red bras, even if you have your _tres _hideous jacket on over it."

I simultaneously blushed and glared at him. "My jacket isn't whatever-hideous! It was Mattie's dad's, and he left it for me!"

Mattie widened his eyes. "So that's Dad's bomber jacket."

I nodded proudly. "It's what made me want to be a fighter pilot—"

Both Matthew and Francis looked at me with scorn.

I pouted. "See? This is why I pretend to be a guy! Because nobody thinks a girl can be a fighter pilot!"

Francis shook his head. "No," Matthew said, "we don't approve of a _certain _girl joining the Air Force."

My pout worsened. "Well, I'm my own person, so _I _will make that decision. That, and the people at the flight school and the Air Force base."

Suddenly, "O Canada" played out of nowhere. Matthew blushed but dug in his jacket pocket, pulling out an Apple iTouch, in all its glory. I scowled in jealousy.

He answered the phone. "Hello?" His eyes lit up. "Hey, papa."

He then glanced at me. "Anything interesting? Ah, well, the past hour has been very intriguing…"

I confidenlty held my hand out for the phone. Matthew hesitantly handed it to me.

"Helloooooooo! This is Avery Freedom Jones speaking!"

There was silence on the other side. "What?"

I grinned. "Yeah! Your long lost daughter!"

He laughed. "Ah, you have to be my daughter if you have that much energy."

"Aw, thank you!"

"And may I ask what the hell my daughter is doing at an all-boys college?" he asked, confusion easily leaking into his voice.

"Well, your daughter wants to be a fighter pilot and is willing to pretend to be a guy for the cause!"

He paused, then I could hear the smile in his voice. "That's my girl."

"Mattie's death glaring me. I'll have to call you later."

"Oh? Tell me your phone number and I'll call you when I can." I eagerly listed the digits, then, after a quick goodbye, I handed it back to Matthew.

"Haha he says I'm just like him!" I boasted to Mattie when he hung up.

Matthew rolled his eyes. "Then I can only assume I'm like Victorious."

Who at that moment was texting me.

I pulled my phone out of my pocket and glared at it. "She just now asked me if I want her to send me cookies."

Francis raised an eyebrow. "And, considering you, that's a bad thing?"

I nodded. "Yeah, she should know she doesn't have to ask!"

Francis and Matthew facepalmed.

Right then, Arthur decided to make an appearance. He slid four bottles of scotch out of his pocket, handing one to me, one to Francis, and keeping two for himself. "Took some bribing, but I convinced that one bartender—"

"The hot blonde Polish girl?" I asked, faking lust.

Francis snickered at my façade. If it meant pretending to hit on girls to look more like a guy, then fine by me.

Arthur glared at me, although I couldn't see any reason why. "Yes, Felixia. I now have to write a paper for her." He rolled his eyes. "Better be worth it."

I rolled my eyes and opened the bottle up, taking a swig. "Aw, you guys should've sent me. You know she's got a thing for me."

Matthew's eyes widened and Francis chuckled. "Yes indeed. She's always giggling when you talk. She asked you out a few times, _oui_?"

I nodded and took another drink. "Yeah. I like her an' all, but this physics course is leaving me without any time for girls." _Plus, the fact I'm a girl makes it impossible to accept dates._

Arthur looked ready to punch me, but I didn't make anything of it. I turned to Mattie. "You don't drink?"

Matthew shook his head. "Not leisurely, _non_."

I raised an eyebrow. "When _do _you drink, then?" That left, like, no time at all.

He shrugged. "At parties, mostly."

I turned back to a more-calm Iggy. "Why do you get two bottles, Iggy?"

He rolled his eyes. "Because I did the work, git."

I pouted, but said no more.

[-]

**Oh wow. I was writer-s blocking this since November. *snickers* **_**Annnnyway**_**, this story will not have slow updates. Trust me. **

**BTW, Felixia? That's Feliks (Poland)! XD Since Toris is a guy in this story, I had to make Feliks the girl. (Even though the other way around is funnier.)**

**Well, I'm off to write chapter two, since I already have a good idea for it. Btw, if you guys are wondering about what her class schedule is, it's explained tomorrow. (Although I've never been to college, my mum and a friend of mine have, so I'm going off the little tidbits I hear from them.)**

**Hope y'all enjoyed! Review! ^^**


	2. Chapter 2

**Title: Curse This Sexist World!**

**Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. **_**Alfred F. Jones**__**is female**_**.**

**Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother, her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?**

**A/N: Blah. R&R and enjoy! (P.S. Some of the things she freaks out over are things **_**I **_**freak out over. *nods*)**

**[-]**

**Chapter 2: The Reason I Need My Fridays to Myself**

**[-]**

My excitement when I found out my brother had Fridays free was indescribable.

I mean, this was the time he'd get to see me in all of my girly glory—

Oh hell. That sounded bad.

Let me explain. I used to not have any days free. I used to have Trig on Fridays and Tuesdays, but I got sick of being a guy 24/7. So I asked Francis and Arthur about their schedules. And they both had Fridays full from eight in the morning to five in the afternoon. (Arthur always met up with his family because they made it a tradition or whatever, Francis always planned his dates on that day, and they both had two one-hour long courses to sit through.) So what did I do? I moved my Trig to Wednesdays and spent Fridays as a girl. Locked up in my dorm room. (Hahaha Rapunzel-sounding, right?)

A few times there were close calls, where one or the other would return to grab something. I was lucky that Francis never paid attention to me, and Arthur always called beforehand for politeness sake.

So that was why I was in a pair of jean shorts, a tank top, and my hair out of the boy-ish looking wig, wheat-blonde locks pulled into a tight high ponytail, the bottom of it reaching my collarbone.

I sat in the desk chair, my back leaning against one armrest and my legs hanging over the other.

I was currently picking my teeth with a sharpened pencil and texting Gilbert, who was in class.

There was a knock on the door, and I jumped.

"Yo, who is it?" I called in my guy voice.

"Alfred, it's Matthew."

I rolled my eyes. "Door's unlocked." I yelled in my normal, soprano (and feminine) voice.

He stepped inside and shut it behind him, glancing around before staring at me in shock.

"Your hair is longer, eh," he stated.

I rolled my eyes and set the pencil down. "No dip, Sherlock. I stuff it up in a wig so I look less girly." I paused. "Of course, my wicked guy-voice skillz probably would work, too, but my face is female enough so people would definitely comment on it." I focused back on my phone.

He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to talk, but, without looking up, I interrupted him. "Hey, did you pick up my mail like I asked?"

He nodded and tossed me a pile of envelopes. Most of them (read: ten of them) were from my mom, although one was from my step-dad and two were from friend's from my high school.

All of them had been sent to my house off school grounds. When I first started coming here, I bribed the postal service man that was assigned my neighborhood's route, giving him ten bucks each month to deliver all of my mail from that house to the school mail box. Of course, he had to do it all on his own time, and he also had to re-label the send address, but he makes a hundred and twenty bucks a year off of me, so he's fine with it.

I opened the one from my friend Alessandro first, quickly reading through his ranting about how his girlfriend, Katherine, hadn't accepted his fifth proposal. I rolled my eyes then read the letter from Katherine, wanting to know what her side of the story was.

I snickered. Apparently Alessandro had proposed again because Katherine was going to visit family in Delaware for a week and he was scared she was going to ditch him.

Oh how adorable our favorite little Mexican friend could be.

I tossed the two aside then trashed the letter from my mother's husband.

Matthew gave me a curious look. "That's very rude, you know."

I rolled my eyes. "It's from my mom's husband."

"Oh. I say you should burn it, eh." We both laughed. Last night, via text message, I had discovered me and him shared a mutual dislike for our parent's remarriages.

"Ha! Is that what you do with your step-mom's letters?"

"And or send them throw a shredder a few times." We high-fived, then I began emptying the contents of the envelopes from my mother. She promised she'd only write once a month, but every time she found something she thought I'd like, she'd send it to me.

Now, let me inform you, there are only three things in the world that can make me act like a total chick: rabbits, mice, and babies.

Somehow, my mother combined all three in those ten envelopes. In her letter, she informed me of a mouse she had found in her washing machine. While I was immediately freaked out that such a thing could happen, I was happy that the mouse had been discovered before it drowned. She also told me about how she had found five baby rabbits in her vegetable garden and was keeping them as pets. She sent, like, twenty photos in one of the other envelopes, and I "awww"ed as I saw them. She had named them Strawberry, Tomato, Chives, Lettuce, and Melon, since those were the said plants the rabbits had been eating before her husband caught them.

I showed the photos to Mattie and he smiled. "Good naming sense."

I dug around, finding perfume samples, pictures of drop-dead gorgeous lipstick models, and—

I squealed in absolute delight as I saw the post-card sized advertisement.

I swear Mattie jumped about five feet in the air. "What the hell, eh?"

I showed him the paper.

He blinked. "What's so special about that?"

"I swear I'm about to cry, Mattie!" I was extremely hurt. "Can't you understand that when a girl sees something absolutely adorable, she has to vocally show it?"

"It's just an advertisement for—" he peered at the words, "'hand-sculpted, palm-sized baby dolls.'"

I pouted. "That's putting it lightly." I stared closer at the "Heavenly Handfuls"™ picture. On the front, there were what appeared to be three babies held in someone's hands. On the left was a baby in a yellow hat, outfit, and baby booties. In the middle was a newborn with its eyes closed, a fluffy looking blue coat (complete with hood) and matching booties on, and a pink button sewn onto the bottom corner. And on the right was a pudgy baby, a white bonnet on its head and a rose-decorated pink dress on, as well as white baby booties.

AND ALL OF THEM LOOK ABSOLUTELY ADORABLE!

I wanted to cry. "Mattie, promise me you'll buy me one when my birthday comes up!"

He took the card out of my hand. "How about I buy you all four?" 

"THERE'S FOUR?" He nodded and pointed to the list on the back.

I squealed and threw my arms around him. "You're so nice, Mattie! I love you so much!"

"You've only known me for half a day, eh."

"And you are buying me four baby dolls that are absolutely adorable," I retaliated.

He shrugged. "It's only about a hundred and twenty bucks for all of them."

I immediately pulled away, staring at him in shock. "_Only? _It would take me six months just to earn that!"

He blinked at me. "Really? I'd just have to ask my dad for it and he'd give it to me right away."

I pouted. "Why did you get the rich parent?"

"Because I'm the boy and he's the dad."

"And it is reasons like that which push me to dress as a boy."

He rolled his eyes. "Anyway, when's your birthday?"

I snickered. "Nice question, Mattie."

He blinked then chuckled. "Touché. For future reference, I celebrate mine on Canada day."

I stared at him blankly. "When's that?"

He facepalmed. "July first."

I "oh"ed. "I just celebrate mine the day it is."

He rolled his eyes. "That is because you are American, and thus July fourth seems more celebratory."

I shrugged then went back to looking through the stuff, carefully setting the "Heavenly Handfuls"™ card to the side.

"You know, if your maternal side is so in love with those dolls, I could buy them for you for Christmas."

I had completely forgotten that the holiday was just around the corner. I threw my arms around him again, pulling him into a tight hug. "Thank you, Mattie! You're the best brother I could ever ask for!" I squealed, pulling away in time to see the blush spread across his face.

"And you're the loudest sister I could ever have the patience for, eh," he said with a slight smile.

Right at that moment, my phone started ringing. I quickly answered it.

"Heeeellloooo, Alfred Fuck-Yeah Jones speaking, what heroic task can I perform for you today?"

"Alfred? I'm going to be in the room in a minute, so you better be working, you git."

I blinked. "Where are you at right now?"

"I'm waiting for the elevator. Why?"

My eyes widened. That was definitely not enough time to change out of my clothes—like I could do that with Mattie here, anyway.

"Okay, well knock before you come in. Mattie's here and I'm about to hop into the shower."

Oh well. A shower couldn't do me any harm.

I could hear the anger in his voice. "You're getting into the shower, and Matthew is there? What the bloody hell have you been doing?"

Well, he probably wouldn't react very well if I said "brotherly bonding."

"He was just helping me with my Physics assignment, and then I got a call from…um…"

Mattie blinked, an idea sprouting in his head. "Felixia," he mouthed.

"From Felixia—" my eyes widened. _Noooooo_!

"And?" Arthur asked, just as I heard the elevator door shut behind him.

I sighed. "I told her I'd go on a date with her tonight, so I need to not smell."

Arthur was royally pissed at that statement. "I thought you said you don't have time for dates with your Physics class!"

I sighed. "Well, Mattie is here to help me and all, so…"

I could practically hear him grounding his teeth. "Okay. Whatever. I don't care."

"Arthur, I—" he hung up before I could finish.

I sighed. "Alright, open my textbook for me. I'm going to start the shower, I guess…"

Matthew nodded, then hesitated. "I don't have to do your Physics assignment, do I?"

I smiled sweetly at him. "It would make our plan more authentic."

He groaned.

Just as I locked the bathroom door behind me, I heard the front door slam shut, and Arthur talking loudly to Matthew.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair, then looked at the mirror. Another reason I never went on dates was because, in the midst of passionate kissing (which I didn't want to happen but couldn't deny a girl because guys don't do that), my wig might very well come off.

I glanced at the counter, where a pair of salon scissors (Francis', since he insists that his hair has to be perfectly trimmed) lay.

This would be excruciatingly, emotionally painful.

[-]

I stepped out of the shower, smelling like Axe soap, and peeked my head out the door.

"Is Arthur gone?"

Matthew looked up from the desk and nodded, then gave me a curious look. "Why is your wig—" He gaped at me as everything snapped into place. "You cut your hair?"

I nodded and tugged at a chin-length strand. While my wig had been slightly shorter, my hair was a good universal length. I still felt like a girl with this haircut, but could still pass off as a boy.

"I think it looks better this way," I mumbled, tucking the front most strands behind my ear.

He blinked. "Well, I mean, it looks good, I'm just kind of shocked." He then sat up straighter as he realized something. "You need to call Felixia."

I groaned and facepalmed. "So that was what my mind was blocking me from remembering. Damnit." I then noticed that I still had a towel around my chest. I blushed.

"Um, Mattie, I know it's kind of impolite, but could you maybe step out into the hall so I can…"

His eyes widened and a matching blush spread across his cheeks. "Yeah, yeah. Just, um, yell when you're ready…" he quickly fled from the room, obviously as embarrassed as I was.

I sighed and locked the door, just in case Francis tried to get in (although that would only stop him until he remembered he had a key). I let the towel fall onto the floor and I shivered in the cold. I quickly dashed over to my dresser and dug around for some good-looking but baggy clothes.

[-]

As soon as I finished binding my chest flat enough, I tugged on a loose black collared button-up.

While I was only in boxers and a shirt but tugging on pants, I heard the sounds of a key turning into a lock.

_Damnit_, I cursed. I did not have time for Francis' perving.

I tried to tug my pants on as fast as I can but ended up falling flat on my stomach, my chin landing hard on the carpeted floor.

Francis slid into the room, despite Mattie's protests, and locked the door behind him.

I growled at him, baring my teeth like a dog.

He chuckled and held his hands up. "I come in peace."

I snorted then rolled onto my stomach and tugged my pants on, my chin hurting like crazy from the fall. "I don't need you groping me while I'm half-dressed, you perverted old man!" I mumbled as I stood up and zipped my pants. I was now in wicked awesome faded black jeans and my silky black shirt. I loosely tied my blood-red tie around my neck and fixed it so it was lazily under my collar. I turned to my roommate as I tugged on red and black checkered Vans. "Why are you here, then, if you aren't here to shamelessly molest me?"

He chuckled. "_Mon _Mathieu told me you cut your hair. Although I hadn't ever realized you even had hair long enough to cut," He eyed my hair, which was quite obviously longer than the wig.

I rolled my eyes and pointed about two inches below my collar bone. "My real hair used to be down to here."

He pouted. "And I hadn't ever seen the real thing…"

I rolled my eyes. "I have pictures from high school you can look at. My hair was just as long then as it was last week." He nodded, his eyes studying my outfit.

"_Bien_," he commented just as he let Matthew in.

I turned to Mattie. "What does that mean?" Mattie knew French, right?

"It means 'good' or 'nice'."

I flapped my hand at Francis. "Oh, flattery won't get you anything, pervert."

He chuckled. "If I wanted something I would simply take it, _non_?" I rolled my eyes and then doused my self in more Axe.

"But what are we to tell _mon cheri _when he asks about why your hair is longer?"

I had already thought of that while in the shower. "Easy. We tell him that you had one of your dates cancel on you today and that you decided to test a French beauty secret on me and somehow it made my hair look longer."

Matthew snorted. "That would simply be straightening your hair, Avery."

I blinked and messed with my hair. "My normal hair was straighter than the wig?"

Mattie nodded.

"Hm."

[-]

**Heeehee~ I almost made her say "Easy! We tell him Yao tested an ancient Chinese secret on me and it made my hair grow longer!" That is an excuse my friend had used when I questioned her lengthier hair. (I later found out it was hair extensions LOL)**

**Review! R&R! Next chapter is the date, and then Avery uses her womanly charm to seduce one of her college friends into taking her on a date! (Heehee, I bet none of you will be able to guess who it is! ;D)**

**P.S. Alessandro is Mexico, and Katherine is Delaware. The two don't actually have any alliance or anything, but I always pair the two together when I write them. Katherine is usually depicted as older than America, since Delaware was the first state. If I ever find a proper place to put it, I'd also use Topper (a large island in the middle of the Atlantic, dot-on the equator, that is completely English claimed. However, I usually portray Topper as Arthur's older brother. *shrugs* Who knows?) Oh! And, just for shit and giggles, even Avery and Mattie's step-parents have basis of real things, except they are actual people who existed and not geographical locations! When the time comes, you'll see~ ;)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Title: Curse This Sexist World!**

**Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. **_**Alfred F. Jones**__**is female**_**.**

**Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother, her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?**

**A/N: Ahhhhh~ I took a shower last night and slept for fourteen (YOU HEARD ME RIGHT!) hours. I am completely refreshed! ^^ (All I need is breakfast. LOLS I'll get that when I find time.) **

**Hm, I bet all of you are wondering why I don't put translations at the bottom of the pages. And that is because most of you reading this are used to Francis, **_**that**_** and I know French, so I'm kind of used to all those words and assume the world knows them. (Oh, but for future reference, "tres" is not three, it is "very" and "bien" is "good" or "nice", and any numbers I use will be translated in the story. ^^)**

**R&R! And enjoy! ^^**

**[-]**

**Chapter 3: I'm a Better Man than I Thought**

**[-]**

As I stood in the elevator with Mattie and Francis (who both had to do something or another at this moment), I slipped out my cell phone and began digging around for Felixia's number. I know she had given it to me at some point or another, but it was probably not even added—

I stand corrected. I sighed as I opened up a text message.

_Wut r u up 2? Havnt talkd 2 u in a wyle_

I hit 'send' and was about to put it up when I got an almost instant reply. _If only I didn't have a room mate who was so anti-cell phone, then I'd be able to text that fast_.

_Hanging out the bar_

_I thot u don't hav wrk on Fridays_

_I don't, I get discounts ;)_

_Lol!_

_So what are you up to?_

_Hmmm…_

"_hmmm"?_

_Im bout 2 head down 2 the bar and ask a very sexy grl I lyk if shed go out wit me_

_And who might this be?_

_Starts wit a 'Y', ends wit a 'U' and an 'O' in the middle_

_O RLY?_

_Yes Rly_

_What made you change your mind?_

_I only said no bcuz Im failin my phiz class but now I hav som1 to help me_

Both Francis and Mattie snickered. Incredibly close to me.

I looked up from the phone to see that they were standing right behind me, reading over my shoulder.

I elbowed both of them. "You guys suck, you know?"

Mattie rubbed his shoulder (which is where I hit him), smiling at me. "At least I'm not going on a date with a bartender, eh."

Francis frowned. "It's going to break her _coeur_ when she finds out that you are a woman, _cheri_."

I rolled my eyes and slid the phone back into my back pocket. "Easy, we just don't tell her. I break it off with her after a while, tell her my Physics grades aren't going up even with the help, and we stay friends."

Francis and Mattie blinked. "You're very good at male logic, eh," Mattie said, wondering if he should feel proud I was his sister or embarrassed.

Francis chuckled. "Who would've known _mon _Avery would be such a heartbreaker, _non_?" He looped an arm around my waist and pulled me against him.

I quickly pushed him off of me just as the doors slid open at the lobby.

"Bye you guys!" I called as I ran off in the general direction of the bar.

[-]

After showing my driver's license to the doorman, I slid inside and glanced around for Felixia.

And there she was, in a corner booth close to the bar, texting whoever and taking occasional sips from some fruity non-alcoholic drink. (She rarely drank when it wasn't her shift.)

I snuck up on her and studied her appearance. Her blonde hair was pulled into a short side ponytail, and her pine green eyes were focused on her phone screen.

She wore a soft white spaghetti strap top with a dark black jacket over it. She wore a pink and black plaid skirt, black netting, and pink pumps.

I'm surprised she doesn't already have a boyfriend. (Although she's probably got tons of offers.)

I smirked and rested my head on her shoulder, trying to get a peek at what she was texting.

She shrieked and turned to look at me. "Don't, like, sneak up on me, Alfred," she complained, holding back from smiling.

I rolled my eyes and slid into the seat beside her. "So who were you texting, Felix?"

She shrugged, then looked at me wryly. "Why? Are you, like, jealous?" She smirked as I feigned embarrassment.

"What? Why would I be jealous? Heroes totally don't get jealous if their damsels are texting other people."

She raised an eyebrow. "Oh, so I'm totally your damsel in distress now?"

She laughed as I blushed. Had I actually said that? I waved my hand absentmindedly. "Oh, just tell me who you're texting!

She looked back at the screen and pursed her lips. "Liet."

I stared at her blankly. "And I have no idea who that is."

She smiled. "Then why were you, like, jealous?"

"I wasn't jealous!"

She just laughed.

[-]

I asked her where she wanted to go. She told me she wanted something to eat. I asked her what she was in the mood for. She told me McDonalds.

I could grow to love this girl.

As soon as we sat down (her sucking on a strawberry smoothie), I started the conversation up.

"So, how's work?" Because, being a female, I could understand that girl's get the most drama at work.

She set down her smoothie with a satisfying thump. "You will, like, totally not believe what my co-worker did, like, yesterday!"

I swallowed a bite of my burger. "What'd they do?"

"She, like, totally steals about five bucks from, like, the cash register, like, every day. And when the big boss totally rounded everyone up to, like, question us about it, you wanna know what she said?"

I took another bite. "Hm?"

"She said she totally saw me stealing money!"

I shook my head. "She didn't…"

She nodded her head furiously. "She did! So it all ended up in this, like, huge cat fight between me and her, and then the boss totally fired her after, like, checking the video tapes."

I smirked. "Good job."

She blushed, then looked at me curiously. "You're a good listener."

I shrugged. "I lived with just my mom during high school. I s'pose I picked it up."

As she babbled on about how she hated certain coworkers, how her parents are bugging her to get a better job, and how her favorite clothing store at the mall was going out, I continued eating and said the magic words every girl loves hearing when she is complaining. "Oh no!" "Really?" "That's horrible!" and "I'm sorry."

When girls face you with a problem, they most certainly do _not _want a solution.

As I tossed the wrappers from our lunch into the trash, her still sipping on that smoothie, (boy she doesn't pause to drink when she's ranting), she smiled up at me. "That was a better date than I, like, expected."

I shrugged. "Thanks, I—hey!" How had I missed that insult buried in there?

She snickered then looped her arm in mine. "You're really cute, you know? You always get, like, really flustered and embarrassed."

I blushed. "Thanks?"

She smiled and, standing on tiptoe, pecked me on the lips. "You're, like, so totally welcome."

While I was mentally throwing a fit that a girl had kissed me, I pretended to be a lovesick puppy as she walked away.

While that ending hadn't been exactly satisfactory, the date had actually been pretty fun.

_Maybe I should go on dates more often…_

[-]

I scurried off back to my room, and slammed it behind me as I got back inside.

Francis and Matthew looked up. (They had been talking while watching TV.)

"What's wrong, eh?" Mattie asked, worry all over his face.

"_She kissed meeeeeeeee!_" I whined, throwing my arms around him and pretending to cry.

"Um." Was all he could offer.

I rolled my eyes. "I don't want to go on any more dates as a boy!" I wailed.

Francis looked at me curious. "But you'd be fine going as _la mademoiselle_?"

I perked up. "Yeah. Actually, I was thinking of dressing in my girl's clothes and maybe heading down to the bar tonight-"

"No," both men stated plainly.

I stuck my tongue out. "Too bad! I already decided on the outfit and everything."

Mattie rolled his eyes. "How are you going to sneak out anyway if Arthur will be back by five, eh?"

Francis snickered, and Mattie looked at him weird. "What?"

"Avery knows what I'm talking about, right?" Francis turned to me.

I raised an eyebrow. "What?"

He sighed dramatically. "Check your cell phone inbox."

I had forgotten that I had turned my phone off for politeness sake while on the date. I slid it out of my pocket and quickly turned it on, then pushed the button for inbox.

There was a message from Arthur.

_My family invited me over for dinner. I won't be back until 12:30._

I squealed and threw my arms up in the air. "Thank the lord and everything smothered in ketchup!"

Matthew looked absolutely lost. "What are you two so happy about, eh?"

[-]

**Hmm. I meant for the little trip-to-the-bar-as-a-girl to be this chapter, but I think you guys need to have a less-than -2,500-word chapter. *laughs* Have you all noticed that the past two have been 5,000 together? I rarely type chapters that long *shakes head***

**This one is only 1,500. Yep. My usual. I spoil you readers for this story too much *laughs***

**I was thinking about making a little side story that is this universe but, like, just random oneshots. Like, one would be Arthur's POV of the dinner he's going to suffer through this Friday night, and one would be Felixia's POV of the date. *nods* I think it'd be a good idea. What do you guys think?**

**Well, review! Hope you all enjoyed this chapter~!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Title: Curse This Sexist World!**

**Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. **_**Alfred F. Jones**__**is female**_**.**

**Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother, her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?**

**A/N: Urghleflablasglebah I threw up earlier today. Feel dead sick, and my parents are acting like they hate me. *cries***

**Anyway, to pass time since I can't fall asleep, I'm going to write this chapter! :P**

**R&R! And enjoy! ^^**

**[-]**

**Chapter 4: Dating is Easy When You Know the Person you're Dating**

**[-]**

I punched Francis in the nose.

"Thanks but no thanks, pervert!" I shrieked at him.

Let me re-cap. I had told Matthew and Francis that the first person I saw when I walked into the bar (that was a male and moderately good-looking and preferably someone I knew wasn't a psycho killer) I would ask on a date.

Matthew was skeptical, and then Francis offered to help me get dressed.

He smiled slightly and held his bleeding nose. "Okay, okay, I apologize!"

I shoved the two of them out the door. "I'll let you both back in when I'm finished getting dressed!" I yelled, and then, as an afterthought, held out my hand for Francis' room key. He sighed and placed it in my palm.

"You've learned your lesson, I see," he chirped happily, pointing to the bruise that was forming on the bottom of my chin.

I rolled my eyes and slammed the door in his face, then locked it.

Taking extra precautions, I took the clothes I picked out (from the clothes hidden underneath my mattress) with me into the bathroom, and stayed in there to change.

I slid out of my previous clothes and pulled on black skinny jeans, a gray fitted tee, and my favorite pair of gray Fergie's. After that, I slipped on a white hooded jacket with pink skull-and-crossbones patterning it, then quickly pulled my shirt hair into a small ponytail at the back upper part of my head. Knowing that the boys would be impatient if I took too long, I dashed out of the bathroom, unlocked the doors, grabbed my bookbag (which held a purse inside of it, as well as my usual school gear) and ran back into the bathroom.

For a few moments, they simply watched me put on make-up. Then, when that proved boring (what guy in their right mind would think it be entertaining?) Mattie started playing something or another on his DS and Francis began texting God-knows-who.

When I finished applying my mascara, I packed the make-up back into my purse and slung it over my shoulder, tossing my bag on my bed.

"Okay, you two," I said as I left the bathroom, "we need to get our story straight. This is for anyone who asks, you hear?"

The two simply nodded, Matthew taking in my sudden transformation, and Francis staring at my tight pants. Of course.

"I am Alfred's little sister. I'm only about a year younger from him, and I came to visit him. He ditched and is somewhere in town, and left me with his cell phone."

They nodded again.

"So, Matthew, where's Alfred?"

"Hiding from you, somewhere in town."

"Francis, who am I?"

"Alfred's _petit _sister. You came to visit Alfred. You are one year younger than him."

I pursed my lips. "And whose cell phone number are you to call when Arthur tells you he's on his way home?"

"Um…yours?" Matthew asked after a few seconds.

I shook my head. "No, you are to call my back-up phone."

Francis stared at me in entertainment. "You bought a back-up phone for when he confiscates it?"

I proudly held up the pink t-mobile sidekick. "I make sure he doesn't see this one because it has all of my high school friends' numbers and photos of me as, you know, a girl."

Matthew snickered. "You say it like you're an actual guy."

I rolled my eyes and moved to leave. "That's how I have survived this long, bro! Bye you guys, call me when Arthur calls!"

"What if he doesn't?"

I paused, hand on the door knob. "Then I'll leave at midnight. He said he was going to be home at twelve-thirty, after all."

I left before they could comment on how "Cinderella" the entire thing seemed.

I mean, I'm sneaking out to find a date, spend the rest of the night with them, and then rush home at twelve so I can change back.

Oh, I made it sound pathetic.

[-]

I held my license out to the doorman, who took it out of his hand and studied it carefully. (The afternoon shift doorman was always more attentive.) I took a compact out of my purse and checked my make-up.

He looked at me. "I'm sorry, ma'am, I can't let you in."

I crossed my arms. "And why not?"

"While you and whoever this is look the same, your hair is longer."

I stomped my foot. "All I did was straighten my hair!"

He looked at me closer. "Do I know you?"

I blinked. How many times had I been to the bar between three o'clock and six?

Oh, lord, lots of times.

I smiled timidly, turning on the womanly charm. "No, I rarely come to this school. I'm visiting my older brother, Alfred. Do you know him?"

He blinked. He always had been rather chummy with "Alfred." He blushed. "I'm so sorry, ma'am, you can go inside."

I smiled happily as he opened the door for me.

Right before he shut it, he timidly called, "Um, ma'am?" I turned my head to look back at him. "You wouldn't mind not telling Alfred about this, would you?"

I grinned at him. "Of course not! Why would I tell Brother about this little slip-up?"

He slowly nodded then shut the door. I strode confidently to the bar then glanced around the room as I waited for the bartender to notice me.

Hmm, Felixia was sitting again in her corner, texting away to that "Liet" person. No one that I knew (that was a male or good-looking) was here.

"What can I get for you, miss?" I heard a voice ask. I turned back to the bartender and pretended to be confused.

"What would you usually have?" I asked the flustered looking boy.

"Um, I don't usually drink here, and, um—"

I looked at him, obviously confused. "Then why would you ever have this job?" I shrugged it off. "I'll just have the fruitiest martini you have."

He raised an eyebrow at my sketchy order, but said nothing.

I heard the chime that was always heard when someone opened the bar door. I glanced behind me to see if I knew them—

And ended up staring.

There stood my good ol' best friend, Gilbert Beilschmidt.

And he was looking _hot_.

He rarely changed out of his torn black jeans and German metal t-shirts, and at this exact moment I hoped he would do so more often.

He wore a red collared button-up, the top three or four buttons undone. (Knowing him, he got too lazy to finish buttoning it.) Underneath was, as usual, faded black jeans. But he apparently took actual care of this pair, because not a single tear, hole, or rip could be seen. Underneath were black combat boots, only he actually _polished _them. He _never _polishes his boots.

On his head was a black fedora, and on his face were black (probably designer) sunglasses.

I couldn't tell where he was looking, but it was in my general direction.

I blushed and turned back to face the bartender just as he placed the drink in front of me.

I slid him the amount of money then went to sipping at my drink.

Well, Gilbert was everything that I had required. The first man I saw that I knew wasn't a serial killer and was remotely good looking.

I mentally groaned. _Why did it have to be Gilbert, of all people?_

Hm. Well, it would be fairly easy to coax him into a date, since I knew all the right words.

One being 'awesome' and several select phrases that would stroke his ego.

I heard a creak as someone sat next to me. _Please don't be Gilbert, please don't be—_

"Hello, I don't suppose I've seen you around here before."

Oh no.

I glanced at Gilbert shyly, not confident in the difference between my Alfred voice and my normal voice. He still hadn't taken his sunglasses off.

I swallowed my sip and smiled slightly at him. "And how would you remember me if you had?"

He smirked at me. "I'd remember someone as awesome as you."

Oh _no_.

I turned back to my drink and took another sip, trying to ignore the blush crossing my face.

No no no no _no_! Not Gilbert! Anyone but Gilbert! I couldn't dare date Gilbert!

"My name's Gilbert Beilschmidt."

I paused my panic-drinking and turned to look at him. _Might as well suck up your pride and snag him, Avery_.

"Oh? That sounds fairly Prussian, doesn't it?" I cocked my head to the side and smiled.

He blinked behind his glasses. "Actually, I am Prussian. How'd you—"

I looked around the rest of the bar, as if I was waiting for someone. "My name's Avery."

He pursed his lips. "Oh? Am I not awesome enough to be graced with your last name?"

I paused, then glanced at him. "Jones."

He blinked. "Jones?" And then he roared with laughter. "So that's where I recognized the name from! You're related to Alfred, aren't you?"

I stared at him. "You know Brother?"

He nodded. "Me and him are best friends!" He paused, looking a little hurt. "He hasn't told you about the awesome me, huh?"

I smiled apologetically to him. "Brother doesn't tell me _anything_, so you don't have to act so wounded."

He raised an eyebrow and slid the glasses off his face, as if his ruby red eyes wouldn't be shocking to someone he just met. "So you and Alfred have a bust relationship?"

I stared in his eyes. I had never actually really noticed how pretty the shade of red was—

I blushed and looked away. "N-no, Alfred and I don't get along very much." I shrugged helplessly and took another drink. "He ran off somewhere in the city when he heard I was visiting, so here I am, stuck at his school with no clue where I am."

Gilbert smiled at me slyly. "Must be pretty lonely."

I nodded, knowing what was coming next. "Yep."

"You know, if you don't have anything to do, then—"

"Okay," I interrupted, blushing but smiling at him.

He blinked. "You didn't know what I was going to—"

"No, I didn't need to."

He grinned at me. "Okay then!"

[-]

I was now being dragged by Gilbert all around the city, wondering if my jacket sleeve could handle much more tugging.

Gilbert was babbling on about this and that (most of it having to do with him), half in German and half in English.

He paused as he waited for a stoplight to change colors. "It must be confusing to you," he suddenly said.

I searched the context for clues. He had been complaining about how his brother had been telling him to get rid of Gilbird.

"Your brother's opinion?" I lamely attempted.

He laughed. "No, my German."

I shrugged it off. "I understand most of it."

He blinked back his shock. "Really? You know German?" 

"Um, some…" I blushed. I was used to German because he was always talking in it around me, so I had picked up about a handful of words.

"How'd you learn?" He questioned as he and I ran across the street to the other side.

How _did _people learn German when they weren't best friends with a self-proclaimed Prussian?

I took a page out of the good ol' thing called television. "Internet?"

He nodded. "Internet just got more awesome, in my opinion."

I laughed, and he stared at me. I blushed in embarrassment. "What is it?" Did I have red teeth from that martini…?

He shook his head. "Nothing."

I rolled my eyes. "Sure."

He grinned at me. "I was just wondering how the awesome me had chanced to be on a date with someone as sexy as you."

I swung my purse at him and laughed. "I'm not sexy at all." Gilbert was my best friend. If he knew that it was really his friend Alfred, just in female form, he probably wouldn't like me. I mean, I most certainly had difficulty liking him, after all.

So why am I blushing?

I looked around us. "Where are we going?"

He shrugged. "I have no idea."

I giggled. "Oh, that sounded smart."

He rolled his eyes. "How about we go to…hm…Hastings?"

While I most certainly knew what Hastings was, I could not expect my female persona to.

"Hastings? What's that?"

He grinned at me. "You'll see!"

He grabbed my hand and I shrieked with laughter as he dragged me across another street.

[-]

I have no idea how it had happened, but he now had his hands covering my eyes.

I giggled as I heard the sound of electronic sliding doors. "Where are we, Gilbert?"

He pulled his hands off of me and grinned. "You are at the most awesome place in the world."

I looked around me, feigning shock. I was in Hastings, the best damn bookstore in the entire city.

I gaped. "It's huge!"

I knew he was refraining from saying _"That's what she said."_

I was purely shocked. Gilbert was being much more polite to me than I had ever seen him—even when he was with girls he had interest in. Usually by now, Felixia would be wanting to bash a beer bottle over his head because he kept flipping her skirt up, or else Ms. Héderváry shrieking at him about detention while chasing after him with a frying pan, just because he had made some perverted comment about her and the principal's relationship.

He grabbed my hand and dragged me to the Children's Books section. "It's my favorite store in the entire city."

I already knew this. I also knew that he was holding back from mentioning that he usually dragged "Alfred" along whenever he visited. (Because of the faux bad relationship I had with my male alter-ego.)

He sat down, right in the middle of the aisle, and pulled me down with him.

As he scanned the book titles for something that seemed even vaguely interesting, he asked in a caring tone, "So what's with you and Alfred?"

To anyone who had actually just met him, he would've sounded boredly curious. Since I already knew him, I heard the worried undertone.

I shrugged. "Alfred and me used to be really close. In, like, Elementary school. We just kind of drifted after that. Of course, when Mom remarried and emancipated him but not me, he probably felt hurt."

Actually, that was cutting it close to the truth. I had been hurt when Mom emancipated me, feeling like she preferred her new husband over me.

He looked at me out of the corner of his eye as he pulled a pop-up book off the bottom shelf. "Why's that?"

I pulled my knees up to my chest and laid my head on them. "I guess…Alfred felt hurt that I would rather be with my step-dad than him…" I stared at the floor, wondering if I was going to cry.

Gilbert paused in his page-flipping. "Sorry," he mumbled, staring at me.

I turned my head so I was looking at him and stared at him, confused. "Why are you…?"

He shrugged. "Apparently, it's a touchy subject." He laughed. "I should've guessed, with how girly Alfred acts whenever his emancipation is brought up."

I blinked. "Brother acts girly whenever it's brought up?"

Gilbert grinned. "He's practically in tears every time I ask him about it."

I felt like glaring at him. But I didn't.

I paused. "What do you think Brother should do? You know, to stop feeling so depressed and all?"

I was secretly hoping he would give me some good advice, so I could get over this dislike for my mother.

Gilbert shrugged. "It'll probably sound girly, but I say you two should just talk to each other."

I gaped at him. That was actually very intelligent. "So we should just talk?"

Gilbert laughed. "Sounds like something out of a romance story, huh?" He went back to reading.

I shrugged it off. Maybe I could talk to my mom about it…

I stared at Gilbert, a new affection for him sprouting in my heart.

[-]

**Heh heh. "Sounds like something out of a romance story, huh?" XDDD**

**Hastings is a real store, yep! It's my favorite bookstore in the world! (Partially because of it's three rows long collection of manga, of course.) Whenever my friend first showed it to me, we hung out at the Children's book section and read a pop-out murder story. It was kind of a paradox, huh? Pop-out children's murder stories. XD**

**Well, review! Hope you all enjoyed yet another 3,000 word chapter. *laughs***

**P.S. Avery's jacket? That is mine! And the shoes? Also mine! I love them! Their my favorite shoes and jacket! (The jacket was uberly cute and I found it at a Salvation Army by my house. It cost about fifteen dollars. And the shoes were from a Foot Locker. I have two pairs of Fergie's, one gray—like Avery's—and one black. They cost thirty dollars apiece. They have "Fergiliscious" written on the back of them LOLZ) **


	5. Chapter 5

**Title: Curse This Sexist World!**

**Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. **_**Alfred F. Jones**__**is female**_**.**

**Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother, her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?**

**A/N: Agghhhhhhhhhhh this story is getting cheesier and cheesier. Sursly. You'll understand when you see this next few scenes. XD**

**R&R! Enjoy!**

**[-]**

**Chapter 5: the Perfect Way to End a Cinderella Moment is to Make it All Come Crashing Down**

**[-]**

I stared at it. It stared back.

Gilbert watched in amusement.

Gilbird sat perched on the edge of my drink, since Gilbert and I had somehow appeared back at the bar, at around eleven forty-five. He and I were in a staring contest.

Okay, so it wasn't exactly a staring contest. But it most definitely was something deep.

For some odd reasoning in the way he focused his attention on me, it felt like Gilbird _knew _I was Alfred. And by the way I stared into his eyes, my lips formed into a pout, it was as if I was begging the bird to not inform Gilbert.

Finally, with a tiny nod and "piyo~", Gilbird flew up and onto Gilbert's head.

Gilbert laughed. "That was intense for a moment there. What were you and my awesome bird thinking about?"

I shrugged.

A bartender walked up and sternly asked for us to pay. I rolled my eyes. "Why, is the bar closing shop for the night?"

He laconically nodded.

I sighed and dug around in my purse, pulling item after item out. _Lipstick, compact, mechanical pencil, mascara, letter from mom—_

How did _that _get there? 

I looked at it closer, and saw that it was actually just an empty envelope, the contents already emptied.

I rolled my eyes and set it back down, then looked at Gilbert pleadingly.

Who simply snickered but laid the required dollar amount onto the counter.

"I think it's a rather stupid rule that the bar be closed at midnight, don't you think?"

The words echoed through my head. _Midnight, midnight, midnight…_

I gasped and quickly pushed all of the stuff back into my purse. "Oh my lord Jesus on a cracker! I have to leave!"

He looked at me, obviously confused. "What? It's only midnight, and—"

After I slung my purse over my shoulder, I turned to leave the bar.

Over a slight hesitation, I suddenly turned back around and kissed Gilbert lightly on the lips.

After I pulled away, I said in a low whisper, "Don't follow me," then ran out as fast as I could.

I ran straight for the Dorm buildings and, after noticing the lack of open elevators, ran immediately towards the stairs. After going up the two flights of stairs, I dashed down the halls and slid into the bedroom.

And was met with a sheepish Francis, a scared Matthew, and a very P-O-ed Arthur.

[-]

I did what I did best. Played along. "Uh, hi Arthur. You're home early."

He pressed his lips into a thin line. "Peter got sick and threw up." I was thankful that his glare did not even notice my current appearance.

"So, um, that's bad and all, and since you seem obviously mad about something or another, I'm going to just hide in the bathroom-"

As I made for a mad dash for the door, Arthur grabbed me by the shoulder, and I shrieked in shock.

And that was when Arthur finally looked at my appearance.

His eyes widened and widened as his eyes drifted down my body, and back up, landing on my mascara layered, eyeliner rimmed, contacts-instead-of-glasses blue eyes.

I smiled sheepishly as his hand fell from the bathroom doorknob.

"Hahahahaha, it's not what it looks like?" I grinned.

Arthur simply stared.

I turned to Francis and Mattie, a prayerful look in my eye. "Back-up?"

Francis smiled slightly and walked up to us, wrapping an arm around my shoulder. "This is Alfred's _petit _sister, Avery?"

I elbowed him. "It doesn't work when you add a question mark!"

"Alfred's a cross-dresser, eh!" Matthew offered.

I face-palmed, then looked at Arthur apologetically. "Hello, my name is Avery Freedom Jones. I'm a twenty-one-year-old woman, I love hamburgers with a passion, and I _am _the hero."

Athur blinked blankly at me.

I threw my hands up in the air and walked over to my bed, collapsing onto it in surrender. "I give up. I tried the old 'it isn't what it looks like,' I tried lying, and I tried telling the good ol' truth." I shook my head at Francis and Mattie. "It's official, we lost him!"

Arthur shook his head, then glared at me. "You're a girl?"

"I'm most certainly not a man with breasts," I supplied curtly.

He turned his gaze to Mattie and Francis, scowling fiercely. "And you two knew?"

Francis threw up his hands as Arthur crossed his arms. "I always had a sneaking suspicion. It was quite obvious when she freaked out over that mouse in the bathroom." Even_ I _was glaring at Francis. Although it wasn't for his attitude, like Mattie and Arthur.

Arthur turned to Matthew. "What's your excuse?"

Matthew shrugged apologetically. "I only found out yesterday."

And finally Arthur turned back to glaring at me, looking like the housewife from hell who just found out her husband was cheating on her. "Why?" was all he asked.

I grinned. "I want to be a bomber pilot for the U.S. Air Force," his scowl intensified, and I did not miss the disapproving looks I received from Mattie and Francis, "and this school has a 97% acceptance to the best of the best flight schools. So I thought, you know, maybe if I dressed up like a guy and acted the part for four years, I could get the diploma, enroll in the flight school, get my flying permit and be set for life!"

Arthur opened his mouth, looking ready to tear down a wall with his words. "You…you…"

"Lying, conniving brat?" Matthew offered.

"Ignorant, cruel heartbreaking dame?" Francis supplied.

Arthur shook his head, and instead glared at me. "You idiot."

I smiled at him cheerfully. "That's what they call me!"

[-]

**Hahahahahaha! I've used so many phrases from TV shows here! "That's what they call me!" is from Cory in the House.**

"**Oh, if it isn't the country's angel?"**

"**That's what they call me!"**

**And then, in the last chapter, "Internet?" is from Fairy Odd Parents.**

"**Timmy! Where did you get this military tank with turbo boost?"**

"**Uh. Internet?"**

**XDDDD There's a few more media cameos. I'll write a one-shot for whoever figures out the next one! :) It'll probably be in one of the next three chapters, although that's the one I know is coming. (Internet and that's-what-they-call-me were unplanned.)**

**So! Review, and I hope you all enjoyed! **


	6. Chapter 6

**Title: Curse This Sexist World!**

**Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. **_**Alfred F. Jones**__**is female**_**.**

**Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother, her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?**

**A/N: HAHAHAHAHAHA I love writing this story. I most certainly have lost my train of thought with "Mission Number Avery Spy Extraordinaire" so working on this is good for me anyway. I looked at my chapter summaries, and you know what? This story is most certainly destined for around 15-20 chapters, 2,000 words apiece. Do you **_**know **_**how long that total word count would be? *faints***

**Anyway, R&R! Enjoy!**

**[-]**

**Chapter 6: Why Arthur (Temporarily) Kicked Me Out of Our Room**

**[-]**

I had not ever realized that Arthur was a misoneist. But then, if you took a look at his Monday schedule, (for the past two years) you'd see it rarely changes.

On Monday morning, he wakes up. Around ten AM. After much poking and prodding, either Francis kisses Arthur or I pour water over his head. Arthur throws a temper tantrum, then takes a shower and gets dressed. We all head to the cafeteria, and we all eat breakfast. Then, he runs off to his philosophy course. He returns an hour later and we head back out to eat lunch. He returns to our room and takes a nap, ranging from two to three hours. Then he wakes up, we all eat dinner, we return to our room, and Arthur works on his newest Philosophy assignment.

He brushes his teeth at eleven at night, and goes to sleep.

And since Arthur is so against change, I knew that his kicking me out of the room was temporary. (Also, he didn't file it with the office, and he didn't take away my key.)

And where do college guys head out to when they are kicked out and don't have a girlfriend? Their mothers!

Of course, I'm not a guy. So I headed out to the sane thing—the house I had before I went to college.

While I was lazing about in pink and black sweats (since Arthur and/or Francis would only contact me via cell phone), I surfed through the Cox OnDemand Freezone. And watched a few episodes of "Adventure Time."

That didn't work out, of course, because every time he said "Because I'm the hero!" I always threw my remote at the screen and screamed "BUT _I'M_ THE HERO!"

Which isn't good for televisions, I found out.

One hole-in-the-screen later, as I was scrounging around in my fridge for a burger (or the makings for one), I heard the doorbell ring. I facepalmed.

"Nooooo, not a visit from my mom!" I hissed, slamming the fridge shut and yelling, "Coming!"

So when I opened the door, I did _not _expect Gilbert to be there.

I stood gaping, trying to find words, while he just grinned.

"Yo," he said smoothly.

I narrowed my eyes. "Why are you here?"

He peered behind me. "Why? You have your _boooyfrieeennnd _here or something?" He actually sounded kind of disappointed, but he hid it in his teasing words.

I snorted. "Like I'd have a boyfriend." But, being the good little girl that I was raised to be, I stepped aside and let him inside.

"And exactly how did you make _that_ awesome beauty?" he asked questioningly. I looked and saw he was staring at the television screen.

"If you look closer, you'll see that the TV remote is still in there," I stated like an Air Plane flight attendant.

He roared with laughter and sat on the couch, then turned to me with an innocent smile. "Have any beer?"

I rolled my eyes. My fridge wasn't particularly full with much of anything. In fact, I needed to head out to the grocery store if I was to survive the week of exile—

"Nope," I said simply as I dug in my purse for my car keys, then looked back up at Gilbert. "Oh, by the way, how'd you figure out where I lived?"

He dug in his pocket and produced an envelope. When I looked closer, I saw that it was the letter I had found in my purse last night.

I blushed. "Um" was all I could produce.

He laughed again, then noticed what I was doing. "Where are you going? I just got here!"

I smiled slightly. "My fridge isn't exactly brimming with food, so I was gonna head out to the grocery store. D'you wanna come with?"

He nodded. "Will I be allowed to buy something?"

I snorted. That sounded _so _like something a kid would say when they found out that their mother was going to some sort of store and was taking them along. "You can if it's with your money."

He shrugged. "Sounds fair enough," he said with a grin.

And, for no reason whatsoever, I blushed.

[-]

I learned that Gilbert can not properly contain his laughter when in public. He laughed when I got frustrated with my cart because it had a squeaky wheel. He laughed when Gilbird pecked a hole in a cereal bag and generic Lucky Charms spilled all over the aisle. He laughed when "Don't Stop Believing" by Journey came on over the PA radio.

But laugh no more when Francis spots us when I finally take a trip down the beer aisle so Gilbert can find whatever it is he wants to drink.

Francis raised an eyebrow as he peered at my guilty look. "Beer? Really?"

I pouted and pointed at Gilbert, who was looking extremely confused. "Gilbert's fault. He wanted to grab some while I was here, innocently grocery shopping." I smiled widely at Francis as he studied my cart.

Gilbert turned to me. "You know Francis?"

I could ask the same. "Yeah. I mean, he _is _my brother's room mate, _right Francis_?"

Francis blinked a few times, then smiled slyly at Gilbert. "_Oui_." Francis sighed dramatically as he looped his arms around my waist and nuzzled my neck. "It's too bad your hero-brother isn't here to save you from _l'amour_~"

I punched him in the nose.

He wailed and clutched his bleeding nose, all the while smiling sheepishly at me. "That's the Avery I know!"

I rolled my eyes, then noticed Gilbert. He was glaring at Francis in…I would say jealousy, but it looked more like possessiveness.

I chuckled, catching Gilbert's attention. "Ha, Francis always attacks me and Alfred all the time. Usually Alfred would just laugh at my misfortune, so I had to learn how to punch properly." I then pretended to scowl at Gilbert. "So don't get any ideas."

He laughed loudly. "Ah, but you'd allow the awesome me to, wouldn't you?"

I simultaneously blinked in shock and blushed. "W-what?"

Gilbert looked at me coyly. "I just assumed that after that awesome night we had last night, that—"

Francis looked at me in shock. "What did you _do _last night, _ma cheri_?"

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Why should you care? You're just my brother's room mate!"

I hoped that Francis would take the hint. But of course he didn't.

"Which means I should be even more protective! Especially if you've been associating with _mon ami _Gilbert! He's dangerous!"

Gilbert snorted. "As if you aren't just as bad."

Francis held me by my elbows and looked me straight in the eye. "Avery, tell _moi _what you _deux _did last night, _s'il vous plaît_."

I rolled my eyes at him. "All we did was walk around the city, visit an awesome book store, grab something to eat from McDonald's, and then head back to the bar. I left at midnight."

Francis looked relieved. Until Gilbert piped up, "You left out that you kissed me," (which I had done on purpose).

_Then_, Francis' eye twitched. "You kissed _Gilbert_?"

I tugged at my hair. "Um. Yeah."

Francis narrowed his eyes at me. "You are to never go on a date with Gilbert again."

I rolled my eyes. "I'm a big girl! I can make my own decisions, thank you."

Francis smiled slightly. "So your mother wouldn't care if I called her up and told her _everything_?" He put enough weight on the word "everything" that I knew he meant my enrollment at the school.

I bit my lip, then nodded. "Okay. No more dates."

Gilbert pouted, and Francis walked off in approval.

I smiled sweetly at Gilbert. "If we don't call it a date, then it isn't necessarily a date!"

Gilbert blinked, then grinned. "I could grow to love you."

I rolled my eyes. "Just pick out your beer, now!" I said to cover my blush.

He snickered. "Whatever you say, Avery."

**[-]**

**Hee-hee! Another short chapter! *1,634 words long***

**Agh. My computer hated me a few days ago and literally **_**broke**_**. I was scared shitless that I lost this entire story, (because I havn't posted this story at all yet. Not even the first chapter. And this is the sixth chapter!) and several other chapters.**

**So, the lesson here is do **_**not **_**save your files onto the hard drive that contains Windows. (Which means save your files onto the drive that doesn't have "My Documents" on it.)**

**Either that, or back-up your files onto two separate USB drives. Because if one gets lost, you want another one to be there.**

**Hope you all enjoyed! R&R! ^^**


	7. Chapter 7

**Title: Curse This Sexist World!**

**Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. **_**Alfred F. Jones**__**is female**_**.**

**Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother, her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?**

**A/N: Oh my jesus. This is the first time I've gotten since my little fanfic binge. (BTW, all AmeRuss fans, I suggest "New Hope" "Bloodstained Mind" "Russian Radio" and. Um. Another one—Oh! "How to lose a guy in 21 days" :3 all of them are absolutely…*squeals*) See, while writer's blocking EVERYTHING, I started digging into my fanfiction storage. (I take complete stories from the site, save them into MWord documents, put them on a USB drive, and then read it when I don't have internet connection.) I haven't even brushed the top of all the AmeRuss! *faints* (I generally just take everything under "romance" "complete" "5000+" and then whatever pairing I want.) Oh! More shameless advertising! I **_**dare **_**you guys to read "Ask the Bad Touch Trio" *snickers* I found it hilarious. All of it. Even the intro. LOLZ**

**Ah, I'd say more but I want the majority of the word count to be the actual **_**story**_**. (P.S. This chapter is really short and kind of filler, since I have the next chapter already written. I just need to get the proper stuff to happen.)**

**So! R&R and enjoy! **

**[-]**

**Chapter 7: Crashing Into People is Never Acceptable for the Hero~**

**[-]**

After another boring day of sitting alone at home (since most of my weekend usually was composed of hanging with Arty and Francis), I fell asleep like usual.

However, I knew something was up as soon as I woke up to birds chirping happily away, sun streaming through the window.

As soon as I was dressed (since I did, in fact, have a class today), I slid into my car. Just as the key was in the ignition, it hit me.

_Today's class has Gilbert in it…!_

Oh damn. No wonder nature was mocking me.

[-]

Somehow, my "cheerful" morning had motivated me to get to class early.

Urg. Stupid birds. (Maybe their songs were like those Greek myth bird-ladies—casting some magic spell over me as soon as I herd it.) Stupid sunshine. (Right now, I felt like it had poisoned me.)

I mean, come on, who gets to class on time? People who care!

And I don't want anyone thinking that I care.

God, even the drive to the classroom was painful. There was some stupid song stuck on loop with my car radio, something about "The Happiest Little Elf" or whatever?

I pouted as I took my seat at the back of the room, immediately pulling my DSi out of my hoodie pocket.

Just as I was getting actually _focused _on this level of Fire Emblem, someone had to spook me by blowing on my neck,

I hissed and rubbed at it, then noticed that the enemy side had moved.

I angrily turned my power off as soon as I saw what had happened. They had killed Wolf.

I silently mourned the _incredibly hot character in the game who didn't actually matter but was still insanely hot _while glaring at Gilbert.

He grinned at me. "Guten tag, Alfred."

I snorted and restarted my game. _Maybe if I don't include him in the start line-up, then I can just keep him forever. But what if I actually need him in a future level—what if he unlocks one of those bad guys that turn good? I'd hate to have to restart the game because of that…_ "Yo," I said absentmindedly, focusing my attention on saving Wolf's life.

Gilbert huffed at the lack of attention and began tugging on my hair (something he did all the time to everyone). "Quit focusing on your damn game and listen to me for a moment!"

I hesitantly used up one of the Quicksave slots, then turned my attention to him. "Yeah?"

"Why didn't you ever inform me of your sister?" he sniffed.

I held back from snickering. _Probably because she didn't exist last time "Alfred" talked to you_. Instead, I rolled my eyes and face-desked. "Let me guess, Avery bothered you while she was in town?"

He pouted. "You mean she's out of town now?"

I nodded.

He snorted in indifference. "She didn't bother me, per se." He paused, as if wondering if he should say more on the subject. Apparently, he decided not to. "How old is she? I think I remember her saying something about living with her parents."

I held back from blushing, because it would give away my amusement. I bit the inside of my cheek and mumbled, "She's just got out of high school, dude."

I saw the look flicker through his eyes. The _I'm dating a hot high school girl, yes! _look that you sometimes saw on bad soap operas. Where high school girls dated college boys and their parents bugged out over it, or whatever.

I did _not _appreciate that look.

"Isn't she a little young to be drinking?"

I paused, then nodded. "Yes. Yes she is."

He shrugged it off. "When's the next time she's gonna be in town?"

I snorted and tried to figure out a way to play my game without him complaining about me not paying attention. "I don't keep track of that crap. I could care less, really, for when she did. As long as I get a ten-second head start, I'm fine."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't see why you dislike her so much." And then there was that devious flicker in his eyes. "Is it because you used to have some insane crush on her?"

I instantly gagged. "Ew!"

"'Cause I'd totally understand it, with her huge rack and that ass of her's—"

I held back from punching him. Instead, I settled for glaring. "Don't talk about my sister that way," and then, as an afterthought, "in front of me."

I don't mind if he vulgarly compliments me. Just make sure I'm out of earshot.

[-]

As usual with that class, we talked to each other with PictoChat, all the while pretending to be taking notes.

_Esta loca_ "taking notes." Ha. As if.

Halfway through class, Gilbert turned off his DS and started texting people.

In answer of my questioning look, he mouthed 'Avery.'

I held back from slapping him upside the head. "Dude," I whispered, "she's in high school. They get in trouble for doing that crap!"

He rolled his eyes. "I don't care. It's not like I'm dead-set on a reply. I'm texting Francis and Antonio, too."

Francis, I knew. "Since when do you know Francis?"

He shrugged. "We've been friends since forever. Since like _elementary_."

Antonio, I didn't know. So I didn't bother. "Hm," was all I replied for the rest of class.

Gilbert and I, as per ritual, didn't even bother saying goodbye to each other. Although I desperately wanted to, now.

Damn female hormones.

As soon as I got out of class, I immediately rang Mattie up. "Hey, bro, come hang out with me!" I begged.

I could practically _hear _him rolling his eyes. "Why can't you hang out with Francis and Arthur? Or Gilbert?"

I didn't bother asking how he knew Gilbert. Or how he knew we were semi-dating.

"I was temporarily kicked out of my room! And I had a class today, so I'm on campus for a little while. _Please_?"

He sighed. "I guess. I'll be down in about ten minutes."

"Do you promise?"

"Sure, sure."

Ew. Jacob much?

(Don't ask.)

[-]

I had long since shedded my hoodie, no longer needing it to smuggle my DS into class. I hid the handheld in my back pocket, and stuffed my hoodie into my bag. I, in replacement, donned my bomber jacket.

"So, what have you been up to, bro?" I asked as we entered the school building with the best cafeteria.

He shrugged. "Not much, I guess."

I opened my mouth to speak but, just as we turned a corner, I ran into another student.

I caught only a glimpse of brown hair as I fell, my glasses falling off my face.

"Damn," I growled.

[-]

**Heehee. The next chapter is my favorite so far~**

**Fire Emblem = best game ever. I **_**loooove **_**it! And, yes, I'm in love with Wolf. You don't know how many times I've restarted my DS just because he died and I wanted him to stay.**

**Is it a bad sign if you happen to be a Gilbert fangirl and you start wearing bandanas around your neck? (Usually red?)**

**Haha. It's the best I can do. It makes me feel like I have Russia's scarf *laughs***

**Hope you enjoyed! Review! ^^**


	8. Chapter 8

**Title: Curse This Sexist World!**

**Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. **_**Alfred F. Jones**__**is female**_**.**

**Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother, her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?**

**A/N: HAHAHA I love this chapter :3**

**R&R! Enjoy!**

**[-]**

**Chapter 8: Since When Are My Ex-boyfriends Studious?**

**[-]**

I rubbed my head. "Ouch. Are you alright, bro?" I turned to Matthew. He rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I am alright. Although I would be more worried about who you ran into." He nodded in the direction where a very quiet pained groan ensued.

I dusted myself off and then squinted at the ground, looking for my glasses.

"A-Avery?" whoever it was that I had run into squeaked. As my fingers brushed my glasses, I faintly felt like I knew that voice from somewhere—

Oh God. Oh hamburgers. Oh everything sacred and smothered in ketchup. I pulled my glasses on and gasped. "Toris?"

I stared at the man in front of me. He stared back. "Why are you here?" he asked quietly.

I shrugged. "I could ask you the same."

He blushed. "I got a scholarship here, so I thought, since it looks good on résumés, I might as well come here for four years if it's going to be free anyway." He studied me closely. "Now, would you kindly return the favor and answer the question?"

I sheepishly rubbed the back of my head. "Um, well, you know I always wanted to be a fighter pilot and since graduates from here are almost always accepted into the best of the best when it comes to flight schools, I thought I could, y'know, pretend to be a guy for four years until I got my degree."

He sighed. "You and you're foolish plans." He then turned to Matthew. "Now who's this? I don't remember you having a brother."

Matthew snorted. "It'd be nice to know who you are, too." Woah. Since when was Matthew a bitch? (I chalked it all up to over-protective brotherly-ness. Or maybe he's just on his man-period.)

I blushed. "Um, well, uh. Toris and me kind of…dated…during high school."

Matthew looked at me skeptically. I didn't usually introduce people like that. "What are you hiding?"

I grinned. "Okay, so he lived with me for the last year of high school." Matthew facepalmed and Toris blushed.

"How did you accomplish that with your mother, eh?" Matthew asked.

I shrugged. "Well, Mom emancipated me because she was moving in with her fiancé and you and Dad were in Canada, so…"

"So he _is _your brother. Are you two twins?" Toris asked, shock already washed away. Ah, that was why I liked Toris so much. He could remain calm in all of my hair-tearing catastrophes.

"Yep! Mattie knew he had a twin sister, but I didn't even know I had a sibling." I flashed a thumbs-up sign. "It was quite a scandal when he first saw me, although he didn't tell any of my roommates as soon as he found out."

Toris wrinkled his nose. "You have roommates?"

I pouted. "Oh, come on, you of all people should understand that I can safely live with boys my age without being mentally traumatized."

"I was more worried for your roommates…" I punched him lightly on the arm.

"Hahahaha, you're so funny, Toris, always telling jokes," I grinned at him. Best way to hide the hurt? Pretend you didn't realize they were serious!

Toris rolled his eyes. He already knew that I did that when hurt. "Sorry, Avery, but it _is _the truth."

I rolled my eyes. "It is pretty hard, since they don't pick up my messes like you did." I decided to not mention that I was currently exiled from my room, of course.

He frowned. "I wasn't just a maid, Avery…!"

I grinned at him and slung my arm around his shoulder. "Of course not! It's too bad we broke it off, y'know? You were really good at keeping me in line. Now I'm stuck with a stupid Brit who confiscates my cell phone and tells me to do my homework."

"That's exactly the same thing I did, Ave."

I shrugged. "You bribed me, though. You took care of me in a way where I always wanted to refuse to do jack just so I could be bribed with—"

"Avery!" both boys shouted at me.

I grinned. "T-M-I?"

Matthew nodded, and Toris face-palmed.

[-]

**Heehee. I loved this chapter. In fact, it was the second to third chapter I ever wrote. And I rarely write chapters ahead of the story. (Because things change, and then you have to edit it so it fits. For instance, this chapter had no mention of the fact that Avery was kicked out of her dorm.)**

**Toris shows up a lot more in the story, now that Avery knows he exists. Ha.**

**Next chapter is kind of filler (just Toris and Avery catching up), since I want Arthur to wait a reasonable amount of time before letting (read: begging) Avery to come back. So! Next chapter is full of memories from Avery's high school years. Heeeheee. Anyone else notice my fondness for AmeRuss? There's a reason Russia hasn't showed up~ You'll see why~ :)**

**Review! Hope y'all dun enjoyed~ (Okie slang fer the win!)**


	9. Chapter 9

**Title: Curse This Sexist World!**

**Sum.: While Francis already knew, Arthur was the one most impacted by the news. **_**Alfred F. Jones**__**is female**_**.**

**Sum.2: AU In an exclusive, international all-boys college, Avery is in disguise of a male. Since this school has the best chance of helping her become a pilot for the U.S. Air Force, why not spend four years as a guy? Of course, she didn't even think that maybe, just maybe, one of her room mates would be smitten with her, she would find her long-lost twin brother, her ex-boyfriend would be there—oh, and that she'd fall in love?**

**A/N: Oh, lord. Did I ever mention that there is **_**much much **_**more drama then previously mentioned in the second summary? (Here's a hint: Mattie's and Avery's parents & step-parents do make appearances~ Lots of drama in that one *kols*) Oh! The chapter before last had…*counts* four! Four cameos of phrases from semi-popular things. If you can pinpoint the phrase and guess which book/show/movie it's from, then I will write you a one-two-three-four-five-shot, you pick the genre and characters, just keep it Hetalia. (And no Nordics. Or Turkey. Or OCs. I don't know **_**any **_**of those. And the Asian family. Everyone else, though, I'm good with.)**

**So R&R! Enjoy!**

**[-]**

**Chapter 9: "Incest Victims Have Less Suppressed Memories Than You!"**

**[-]**

**P.S. Chapter title = from George Lopez. Benny said it sometime during the Earthquake episode. Lol it seemed fitting**

**[-]**

I didn't question it when Toris downright refused to go to the bar. I was fine with it, anyway, since it was Felixia's shift. And I was currently dressed as a girl.

So it was just Toris and I, non-ceremoniously catching up over McDonald's.

I mostly ignored the uninteresting parts. Which was pretty much everything.

"…blah blah blah blah—oh, and then I really like this one girl, and blah blah blah blah blah…"

It took me a moment to notice that teensy bit of information hiding in all of the boring junk.

But at least I noticed it.

"Woah woah woah you like a girl?" I asked with a smirk.

Aw, he was so cute, acting all flustered and stuttery. "Well, y-yeah but you-you wouldn't know her. She's off-campus and sh-she rarely does anything attention gr-grabbing, so of course you don't know her…" he trailed off as he realized he made no sense whatsoever.

I smiled sweetly at him. "Then why don't you two get together?"

He returned with his own weak smile. "She likes someone else."

Wait, this sounded kind of fishy…

"Hm. So, is she American?"

He looked at me with curiosity. "No, she's Polish."

I just barely held back from doing a spit-take. "Is her name Felixia?"

He nodded.

I shrugged. "Never heard of her," I mumbled as I took a long sip of my chocolate smoothie.

He continued staring at me for a few more moments, then sighed. "So, what have you been up to?"

I chuckled. "Well, you already know the gist of it. Miraculously ran into my long lost twin brother. My room mate is in love with me. Currently-going-out-with-Gilbert. Failing physics. You know, the ushe."

He blinked and noticed it immediately. Why didn't I have quick reflexes like him?

"You're going out with…Gilbert?"

I nodded. He couldn't _possibly _know who I was talking abou—

"_Beilschmidt_?"

I suppressed groaning, and nodded again.

He had the Toris-equivalent of a scowl. "I'm sorry, but you could do so much better, Avery."

I pouted. "Well what if I don't want better?"

He looked at me wryly. "You know, I heard one of your exs has been looking around for you—"

"Really? Which one?" I said before I realized it was a trap.

He rolled his eyes and smiled slightly. "Oh, yes, Gilbert is exactly what you want. That's why you are nearly jumping out of your seat at the mention that an ex might want to get back together with you." I did not appreciate his sarcasm.

"No. I was just merely curious, you know? Got to know my options." I nodded. Yeah, that sounded like a reasonable enough excuse.

He raised an eyebrow. "So you're saying you wouldn't break up with Gilbert if I told you that Ivan was—"

"IVAN BRAGINSKY?" I shriek-whispered.

He nodded, leaning back in his chair.

I blinked in shock. Wow.

Hm, on the chance I'm veering off into the inappropriate, I feel it's necessary to mention that Ivan was my first. And you know what I mean by first.

We dated all the way from eighth grade to the second-to-last year of high school. Then his sister got all psycho-bitch on me during the summer, so I gave up on that romance. Then I met Toris around the beginning of the school year, who was currently being forced to live with his craggy old grandmother, so I immediately invited him to live with me. And then we kind of got attached. And—

You don't want my details.

Ivan, being number one and all, had a very _very _special place in my heart. And the only reason we weren't together now was because of his sister.

I shuddered. "What happened to Natalya? Ivan wouldn't dare look for me after the shit she said."

He smiled slightly at me, in that semi-sweet semi-suspicious way of his. "She moved back to Russia with her older sister. There was some big family conflict or whatever, and one side of her family wanted the girls to stay away from Ivan. So now he's all alone in that apartment of his…" he trailed off, waiting for my reaction.

I frowned in thought. "You aren't bringing this up just because he asked you to, are you?"

He laughed, although it sounded forced to me. "What? How would he know that I was going to run into you _here, _of all places?"

I scowled at my milkshake. "He could've simply said 'if you see her, tell her this and that and blah blah blah.'" I noticed the frown that occupied his face. "I do know that you two are rather _chummy_."

Chummy meaning Toris was too scared of Ivan to stop being friends with him and listening to what he told him to do.

Toris half-smiled at me. "I see you've gotten smarter than you used to be, Avery."

I glared at him and crossed my arms. "What's _that _supposed to mean?"

[-]

So far, only Matthew, Toris, and Gilbert knew where my girl-lair was (i.e. my house off-campus.) I'd very much like to keep it that way.

Mattie and Toris were both invited over as soon as I realized I had nothing to do today.

Both were staring incredulously at my television.

"Hey, Toris? What's Ivan's number?"

Toris, too shell-shocked by the sight of my grotesquely mangled electronic, rattled off the digits absentmindedly. I quickly saved it as a contact, then compared it to Ivan's previous cell phone number. Nope, they weren't the same.

At least Ivan was smart enough to get a new cell phone as soon as Natalya left.

I poured myself a glass of cherry limeade and left the kitchen, still messing with my phone.

I looked at the boys, who were just now recovering, and spoke. "I'm going upstairs to place a call. You two don't, like, bitch-slap each other or anything."

Both snorted, as if it was undignified and completely reserved as a chick thing to do. (However, I've witness both of them do it, so I don't understand why they were being prissy boys about it now.)

I quickly climbed the stairs and slid into my room. After locking that door behind me, I went to the double protection and hid in the bathroom connected to the bedroom. And finally, I called Ivan.

While I called Ivan on my mom-use only phone (I told her I got a new phone. Which was true. She just now called this one _only_.), I was reading that text message from Gilbert.

_Lol ur in HS?_

I frowned. Why'd he have to make it all seem like a joke.

_Yeah, why?_I replied.

Just then, Ivan picked up the phone.

"Privyet," he murmured tiredly. I realized I had woken him up. I glanced at the clock in my bathroom. It was only two-thirty PM. How could he still have been asleep?

"Tch. I can tell you're getting _plenty _of sleep," I said sarcastically, hoping he would recognize my voice.

_Lol al told me I just wantd 2 doubl-chek_

I rolled my eyes at Gilbert's reply.

"A-Avery?" Ivan rarely stuttered. And when he did, it meant he was caught completely off guard.

"The one and only~" I cooed.

_Doesn't change anything does it? _I felt a twang of guilt as soon as I hit the send button.

I pursed my lips. Me and Gil weren't really _dating_. It was more, friends-with-benefits-currently-without-the-benefits, right?

Right.

"You always were a morning person, da?" Ivan hummed in response. I could faintly hear his bed squeak as he shifted his weight.

God, he didn't let go of _anything_, did he? I bet that's the same bed he's had since he was fourteen.

_& y wuld it?_

_Hey Gil I'm busy right now I'll call you later, okay?_

It was hard, juggling the conversation with Ivan and with him.

_K but im holdin u 2 dat promiz_

_Sure whatevs_

I laughed. "I'm sure two in the afternoon is _not _morning, Ivan."

He simply grunted. "And how exactly did you get this number?"

I grinned. "Toris gave it to me!"

Ivan groaned in anger. "I can't trust him with _anything_."

I snickered. "How it came off to me when he told me was that _you _were _wanting _me to call you. Now how am I supposed to do that if all I have is your old phone number?"

"…damn boy can't keep anything a secret…" he mumbled, along with several pieces of Russian.

I rolled my eyes as I realized he completely ignored me. "Whatever you say, Ruski."

I heard him sigh. "Where exactly have you been, da? You completely disappeared after graduation, changed your numbers, and moved."

I noticed the hurt tones in his voice. "Aw, don't be so vain. You're acting like I did all that just to get away from you."

"Well, what else was I supposed to think?" he asked simply.

Hm. Good point.

[-]

**Oh lord. Very short chapter. *frowns* I didn't mean for Ivan to get too involved. But, damn, I got a good idea out of this! (Mostly because I remembered that Ivan and Gilbert, like, **_**hate **_**each other. With a fiery passion.)**

**So, Ivan's in the story! Yay! (Makes me damn happy anyway.)**

**Now I have all of the most common pairings mentioned! AmericaXRussia, AmericaXPrussia, AmericaXEngland, and AmericaXLithuania. (Yes, I know AlfredXFeliks is kind of crackish. Oh well. LOL)**

**So! Review! Hope you enjoyed! :D**


	10. AN

Oh dear lord. Where do I start.

As you all may know, I've recently just up and disappeared. I stop reading fanfictions, stopped responding to reviews, and stopped updating my stories. This doesn't mean I stopped wanting to write or didn't want to respond, there was just too much going on at the beginning for me to find time and by the time I _did _have some, I hadn't been motivated enough to write, or I had just simply never thought of it.

However, my friend IRL and I collab'd a Left 4 Dead story on Facebook, and we discussed where else to post it. Finally I said "we could put it on my " To which she replied "You have one?" So thus, I showed my account to her and she read some of my stories. One in particular she was very fond of and was constantly asking me to update it.

Unfortunately, taking a look at my account, I realized there were many stories I didn't want to continue or stories that I just couldn't continue right now. I will save all of my stories to my computer, of course, but only the ones I want to be fully dedicated to will be uploaded to my new account. If you have me author alerted, I suggest you go and add my other account instead as this one will soon be either closed or left to wither. If you have a story (or stories) on alert, I suggest author alerting my other account and simply removing it once you've story alerted the new one.

My newest account is ka583982 (/u/2807266) and I promise I will be more dedicated to my writing and respond better to reviews and PMs. If you have anything you wish to ask, PM me on there or email me at . Or, if that leads to a week without reply, you can message me on Facebook; a link to it can be found on my new Fanfiction profile.

Love you all and hope you will continue to stick with me!

-Karb/CWT


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